Acceptance
View from My Window
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
I sit here watching all variety of birds fly about and I am mesmerized by their purposeful activity. Yet I am motionless and without direction as I sit in my chair unable to even make a decision to get another desired cup of coffee. I am a motionless and emotionally empty blob.
What causes me to have moments like this? The day is gray and dreary. No sun and no wind; nothing but grayness. I think, kooky person that I am, that the low pressure front that moved in last night, and that still persists this morning, affects my mood.
For I feel weighted down, not sad or depressed necessarily, but just as though the law of gravity is stronger today. It’s the kind of day that I wish the overfilled bladder of the sky would burst and would pour its long stored up moisture upon me. Then I could, with purpose sit here all day watching the rain; awaiting the next high pressure front to move into the area and thus into my weighted body, mind and spirit.
But rather, I will stay here in this moment of stillness pregnant with possibility and enjoy the feeling of expectation; yet, at the same time, inhale the Now.
When I do that, stay in the present, I realize that it is not the view from my window that has changed but instead my expectation of what I would see this morning that has changed. For, at once, with paper and pen in hand, I sat down and thought “okay, sock it to me...hit me with great perceptions and feelings about which I can write”.
And as I write my thoughts, I remind myself that that is not how it works. And so you see, once again, nature has taught me a lesson. Listlessness comes from within; an attitude of the body that can be changed by my thought process. I can begin my day anew. It’s a matter of perception and expectation. Acceptance of the Now is the key and then Becoming is possible.
I know this deep within but oftentimes my thoughts stray and take me to places I don’t “know”. Staying with that “deeper knowledge” inside me, I remain on course.
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
I sit here watching all variety of birds fly about and I am mesmerized by their purposeful activity. Yet I am motionless and without direction as I sit in my chair unable to even make a decision to get another desired cup of coffee. I am a motionless and emotionally empty blob.
What causes me to have moments like this? The day is gray and dreary. No sun and no wind; nothing but grayness. I think, kooky person that I am, that the low pressure front that moved in last night, and that still persists this morning, affects my mood.
For I feel weighted down, not sad or depressed necessarily, but just as though the law of gravity is stronger today. It’s the kind of day that I wish the overfilled bladder of the sky would burst and would pour its long stored up moisture upon me. Then I could, with purpose sit here all day watching the rain; awaiting the next high pressure front to move into the area and thus into my weighted body, mind and spirit.
But rather, I will stay here in this moment of stillness pregnant with possibility and enjoy the feeling of expectation; yet, at the same time, inhale the Now.
When I do that, stay in the present, I realize that it is not the view from my window that has changed but instead my expectation of what I would see this morning that has changed. For, at once, with paper and pen in hand, I sat down and thought “okay, sock it to me...hit me with great perceptions and feelings about which I can write”.
And as I write my thoughts, I remind myself that that is not how it works. And so you see, once again, nature has taught me a lesson. Listlessness comes from within; an attitude of the body that can be changed by my thought process. I can begin my day anew. It’s a matter of perception and expectation. Acceptance of the Now is the key and then Becoming is possible.
I know this deep within but oftentimes my thoughts stray and take me to places I don’t “know”. Staying with that “deeper knowledge” inside me, I remain on course.
posted by Sandra | 6:38 PM
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