"Tickle" Weeds

While lying lazily in my hammock yesterday, I observed what we in East Texas call a "tickle" weed. It is neither as large nor magnificent as the "tumble weed" of West Texas. However, its personality is much the same: that of a wandering vagabond searching for a place to come to rest. During the course of a day, it finds many such places, only to be set out on yet another journey by a puff of wind. Thus, it might travel about in a very seemingly random pattern since it is at the mercy of the whim of the wind that drives it.

As I gently swayed back and forth in my hammock, propelled in part by a stick I use for such purpose and in part by a once in a while strong push from the wind, I realized how very similar to that tickle weed am I. I can be ever so still and serene, and here comes a puff of life's upsets that sends me spinning out of control and out about in a whirlwind of emotions and not well thought out actions. I become much like the vagabond without a place to anchor myself; driven this way and that, and seemingly going nowhere in particular.

I have also observed that I seem to be propelled in this random fashion more by the two-legged large forms of nature than by anything else. Upon interaction with the human species, I am tossed about much like the tickle weed leaving my home of serenity and stillness. My inner self is calm; but with the "push and pull" from my fellow creatures, my outer self tumbles about trying to control my whereabouts; only to the disconcertment of my inner life

But I have noticed also that the tickle weed comes to its final resting place amidst many of its fellow weeds; driven likewise by the same wind to a place of rest from which it is safe from the coming and going of movements of the air anymore. One of my major areas of growth I strive for is to be able, like the tickle weed, to be safe and secure amidst my fellow beings, without feeling apart, driven by a need to stand out or a need to control either my surroundings or my companions in this journey. In other words, I would like to find the fine balance between being one among many and still maintain my sense of self comfortably set off by my boundaries of self.

Being so anchored, I would find that the winds of life would not toss me about here and yon randomly, but I could travel about comfortably under my own propulsion and not be a "tickle" weed randomly blown about by the whims of outside forces.